Derpy Dragon Dating Sim

Derpy Dragon Dating Sim, also called Derpy Dragon Go, is an April fool's day role-play that was hosted by Bokkun.

Blurb

You are all dragons who have reached 10 years of age. That means you are all required to take mates, lest you be lonely forever.

Plot

See also: Derpy Dragon Dating Sim/Logs

Sneck eats a fancy meal at the restaurant and performs to mixed reviews. He is never seen again.

Simultaneously in the theater, Fizzle knocks a man's popcorn to the ground and, using the power of cuteness, causes him to realize that the movie he is watching is not that great. The man runs out of the theater and Fizzle soon follows after briefly contemplating the implications of six-dimensional screenings.

Meanwhile, Tinador looks for a dead body, starting at the volcano, visiting the bedroom, and eventually making it to the beach resort. Deeva and Tina briefly chat before the body is found under Fizzle's feet. The group waxes poetic as Smoky joins from the theater and as Tina digs up the creepy luckster's corpse. The fashionably late Derpy joins in the back-and-forth poetry and autopsy as Tina finds a bottle of poison on the corpse.

Smoky leaves the autopsy site to head to the volcano, where he attempts to find a girl. His attempts are unsuccessful at first, but when he begins to drink the pool lava, many girls flock to him. One puts a collar on him and says that she will take cutesy pictures of him to put on social media websites. After successfully getting a girl, Smoky makes himself arms out of the pool lava and heads back to the rest of the group.

Despite the inherent danger of finding poison on a corpse, Derpy kisses it anyway, causing it to turn from the creepy luckster into Mr. Normal. Diva goes to kiss the corpse too, bringing him back to life. Tina suggests a duel over his hand in marriage, and Derpy fails to hesitate, immediately going to stab Deeva. Deeva then threatens to end reality, to which Derpy responds by calling the manager. Several studio interns approach Deeva but ultimately flee from her threats. While the studio fumbles, Smoky returns and hugs Mr. Normal with those newfound lava arms, burning Mr. Normal's clothes and hair to nothingness. Frustrated with the duel, Tina and Derpy incinerate Deeva's clothes to end the episode.

Cast

• Deeva, played by Swiggle
• Derpy, played by Asian Trash
• Fizzle, played by Crying
• Sneck, played anonymously
• Smoky, played by Jack Frost
• Tinador, played by Fafnir

Derpy Dragon Go's cast was spontaneously picked from whoever showed up in time and wanted to play.

Trivia

• Fizzle's sister, Blaze, was never featured in Derpy Dragon Go. Rumor was that her original voice actor joined the voice actor's guild and attempted to sway others into doing so, so they fired her. In response, the entire voice cast of generation five joined the guild as a collective "fuck you" to the studio. They recast for Go but are said to have excluded Blaze for this reason alone, out of spite to her VA.
• Had the show been allowed to progress to its natural ending, this is how the cast would have ended up:

Deeva instantly nat20'd.  Fitting.
14 for Fizzle, better than expected, but what's a trashy show if not undeservedly pandering to everyone's favorite characters?
13 for Sneck, just barely hitting what I arbitratily set to be the DC, so I'm saying he hit it off with the waiter who loved his performance.
2 for Tinador, because what's a shitty show if it doesn't totally fuck over the best characters that just aren't the fan favorites?
And 20 for Derpy.  Fitting.
That's such a mean ending!  Literally everyone but Tinador made the check, what the hell guys?
Fuck Derpy Dragon Go.  Terrible writing, terrible show.
Bring back the good Derpy Dragon series.

• Nothing in prior Derpy Dragon canon states that Smoky could make arms out of lava:

"There is explicitly lore that says it's not possible in the original series!"

"This is a reboot, who cares about the original's lore?"

"You do apparently, seeing as you directly fucking reference things that haven't happened in this reboot yet!"

"Well the fans already know about that junk, so why show it again?"

Gareth finally lives up to the Gervaise family name.